Same Sex Marriage: Has Christ been divided? At around AD 50, Paul establishes the church in Corinth and having done so he then moves on to Ephesus, 180 miles away on the western coast of Turkey. It is while he is at Ephesus that he hears of divisions and jealous rivalries breaking out in the congregation back in Corinth. A number of issues have come to the fore not least the question of celibacy versus marriage. Paul himself lives a celibate life and promotes celibacy, following the example of Christ, as the ultimate ideal. But as we know from our common human experience, celibacy is a way of life for the few and not the many. This reality was something that was a bit of a hot potato for members of the Corinthian congregation. Writing in his epistle to the Corinthian Church (1 Corinthians 1:10-18) Paul is forced to affirm that it is better to marry and share a life in a loving, supportive, and sexually fulfilling relationship rather than to struggle with an uncontained and frustrated life that lacks intimacy and which, as we now know in the modern age that the ancients would never have realised to the same extent, can lead to quite chronic and destabilising mental health issues. The Bishops have now decided not to sanction same-sex marriage and to reaffirm that only marriages between a man and a woman can be solemnised in church. It is fair to say that there are mixed views within the Church as to what constitutes a Christian marriage with lines being drawn between those who advocate what might best be described as traditional marriage and those who hold to the idea that the nature of marriage has changed as our understanding of human biology and psychology has evolved, not least in the post-war decades. Whatever your view, the decision by the House of Bishops to go only so far as to allow for the blessing of faithful homosexual relationships has created huge amounts of pain for a great many people, not just for those who identify themselves directly as part of the LGBTQIA+ community but also for a great many people who advocate that the Church should now be aligned with the norms in wider society. In other words, marriage should be accessible to all, not least because this is now recognised by most people as a basic human right. For many people, including the more than one thousand parish priests, me included, who have openly stated their support for same-sex marriage, the decision by the Bishops can only be viewed as a failure of leadership and will in the eyes of many merely confirm that the church discriminates against gay people. And let’s be clear that what is being proposed is discriminatory. Whatever your view this decision widens the gap between the Church of England and the people of England – and can only make the task of pastoral ministry and preaching the good news of the Gospel on the ground more difficult. Let’s go back to St Paul for a moment. St Paul appeals to the Corinthian Church for unity in Christ. He begs that divisions be put aside for the sake of the faith and for the sake of growing the Church. And some will want to argue for this by way of defending what it is the Bishops are asking for. Yet at no point does Paul suggest ‘unity in Christ’ should be at the cost of personal integrity. The current crisis over same-sex marriage challenges the integrity of everyone, as did the debate over the ordination of women, not all that long ago. There can be unity in Christ but only on the basis of agreeing with what is right and what is wrong. In terms of basic human rights, the prohibition of same-sex marriage is morally indefensible. Unless the General Synod of the Church of England, which meets in February or if Parliament itself intervenes in the ensuing months, then we are set for many more years of agony over the question of same-sex marriage. Nothing else is going to be of much consequence. The Bishops have set themselves up for many more years of apologising for discriminating against gay people. No feigned episcopal tears, with words to the effect that this is the best that we can do, is going to make any difference. For the vast majority of people who live in our country what is being suggested is simply not good enough. Personally, as a parish priest sworn to obedience, I find myself sitting at the foot of the cross in profound silence… As we watch and wait to see what unfolds. Many in the wider world will be asking questions of us in the next days, friends, neighbours, colleagues… Those questions are going to be very difficult to answer. Paul asks a rhetorical question of the Corinthian Church, “Has Christ been divided?” We might well ask that same question. And ask further, “Have the Bishops divided him?” Revd Mark Bailey
I am writing to say Thank You to you for all your support over this past year - your time, commitment, and money. Without your support, the work of our five Churches in our communities across our Benefice simply could not happen. We are blessed with amazing buildings that inspire with their history and architecture and very powerfully remind us of the context of life within which we find ourselves. It is within this context of everyday life that ministry takes place, a responsibility shared by priest and people together - reaching out to one another in our regular congregations, our wider village communities and beyond - sharing the love of God in a myriad of ways. Behind the scenes, much of the administrative work is undertaken by our erstwhile Churchwardens and they in particular deserve a special thank you for the many untold hours that they give to ensure that our Churches function as efficiently and as effectively as possible. Like every house and family mini crises occur and, given the wide geography and disparate population that we serve, it often falls to our Churchwardens to resolve these issues as best and as quickly as they can. One change that has occurred in this past year has been the change in the nature of the job that our Administrator, Heather Ferguson now undertakes. In the past, Heather’s focus was mainly the production of the Weekly Sheet for St Mary’s and St Peter’s. Heather’s role has evolved so that she now has responsibility for managing all the fees that are paid to all the Churches across the Benefice for weddings, funerals, and burials. This is quite a task but with Heather taking on this role it does mean that as Parish Priest I am freed from this day-to-day administrative task and can focus more on other, more strategic tasks. This past year has seen changes in the Ministry Team. After many years of service, a number of folks decided to step back from active roles with both Barry Price (Cottered) and Norman Plumb (Benington) sensibly deciding that it was time to downsize and relocate to other areas of the country. Paul Cobb (Benington) is similarly in the process of preparing to move house and others, including Anne Hudson (Benington) Steve Mason (Walkern) and Revd Mervyn Terrett (Ardeley) have stepped back from their roles. The Team is now much reduced in size, and this means that it is harder, and sometimes not possible, to provide for Services in the way in which we have done in the past. The future is likely to mean fewer Services around some of our major festivals and when I am away on leave, with churches in the north and south of the Benefice having to work more closely together. Ideally, we could do with six volunteers willing to train as Worship Leaders to ease the strain. If you think you would like to be involved in leading a Service of Morning Prayer do please get in touch. I am grateful to Colin Bailey (Benington), Laurie & Maggie Hawkins (Walkern), Revd Canon Mike Leverton and Wendy Waygood (Ardeley) for their continued support in facilitating our life as a worshipping community. These past twelve months have also seen a re-balancing of our work with all three Schools within the Benefice. We are blessed with two Church of England Primary Schools, Ardeley (Voluntary Aided) and Benington (Voluntary Controlled) and a State Primary School at Walkern with whom we have an equally good and fruitful relationship. A School-Church Curriculum has been introduced which means that each year group, across all three Schools, now partakes in using their local Church as a learning environment. I teach lessons on a range of subjects including RE, art and history which involves all children becoming more familiar with their Church. It has been a particular pleasure this year to introduce children to our amazing collection of gargoyles and grotesques at St Peter’s. It was the first time that children from Ardeley and Walkern Schools had visited St Peter’s. Great fun was had designing and naming their own grotesques! All of this work goes on alongside the more familiar Collective Acts of Worship (School Assemblies) and the more traditional School Visits for Nativity Plays etc. Our historic property portfolio is a significant responsibility. I sometimes joke that if our Churches were being managed by the National Trust then we would have a whole department dedicated solely to caring for our five Churches. Such a department does not exist! However, this year we have reviewed the committee structures responsible for the care and maintenance of our buildings. Each Church now has a Fabric Committee in place and every Church has a strategy in place for moving forwards. There are some exciting projects being developed for each Church though obviously this is tied to funding. Bringing such projects to fruition is always undertaken in consultation with our architects and with the Diocesan Advisory Committee. The latter is the equivalent of a local planning authority and operates with very clear guidelines and high standards expected when caring for any aspect of national heritage. Our property portfolio includes both Benington and Ardeley Village Halls and these too have structures and plans in place for moving works forward.Legislation around the subject of marriage is constantly evolving as societal norms shift and change. After consultation with all of our Parochial Church Councils, it was agreed that we should apply to the Bishop of St Albans for a Section 23 Order which would allow any couple who resides within the Benefice or who has a qualifying connection to marry in any of our five Churches rather than just their own local Parish Church. This Order has now been issued and allows for greater flexibility with regard to the venue for those wishing to marry in Church. Our Churches are also available for anyone wishing to have their marriage blessed either subsequently after being married elsewhere (overseas or local wedding venue) or to celebrate a special anniversary. If you think the Church can be of any help to you, don’t hesitate to be in touch! God Bless, Mark
The Revd Writes…“Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.” William ShakespeareA new year dawns and with it the opportunity, by God’s grace, to continue to love and even perhaps, to find a new love. For those wishing to marry in church within our Benefice, there is now the possibility to marry in any one of our five churches. Up until now, couples have been limited to marrying within their own Parish Church or a church with which they have a qualifying connection but not the option of being able to choose to marry within any church that falls under the jurisdiction of their Vicar. In recent months our Parochial Church Councils had all agreed to apply to the Bishop of St Albans for what is known as a Section 23 Order, which has now been granted. In practice, this means that a couple’s banns may now be called in any of the churches, though usually in the church where they are to be married, as well as offering more choice regarding the venue for the big day. We are blessed with five stunningly beautiful churches, all of architectural merit within their right, including St Lawrence’s, Ardeley, St Peter’s, Benington, St John the Baptist, Cottered, Holy Trinity, Throcking and St Mary the Virgin, Walkern.For those who choose to marry in exotic places overseas or grand hotels closer to home, there is also the option of having your marriage blessed locally in church. This often means being able to invite folks whom you may not have been able to include on the day of your wedding. A Service of Blessing is also available for those who wish to renew their marriage vows around the time of special anniversaries – though every wedding anniversary is special!Post-Covid, further changes are afoot regarding the possibility of being able to be married outside. The experience of needing to meet in fresh air during the pandemic has enabled a re-think when it comes to where you can be married, currently limited to licensed buildings. The law is now set to change which will allow weddings to take place in outdoor spaces such as botanical gardens etc and more likely than not will also include churchyards. This will be a first and I’m sure will be popular with many couples.At present marriage in Church of England churches is limited to heterosexual couples. The debate on same sex marriage however is beginning to shift with some senior bishops now calling for the Church to become more inclusive and aligned with the norms in everyday society. Over 1000 clergy, including myself, have now stated publicly that they would be willing to marry same sex couples in church once this becomes legal. I’m hopeful that this day now draws nearer.If you would like any further information on any of the above, please don’t hesitate to be in touch.God BlessMark
The Revd Writes… “Sometimes I feel lost,” said the boy. “Me too,” said the mole. “But we love you, and love brings you home. I think everyone is just trying to get home,” said the mole. I’m grateful to a friend who bought me a copy of ‘The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse’ by Charlie Mackesy last year. A simple book, beautifully illustrated with words of wisdom that reach out and speak to all ages. I’m pleased to see that it is predicted to be a top seller for this Christmas. It comes recommended by yours truly. I wonder how many children will be waking up on Christmas morning and be thrilled to bits to know that they are now the proud owner of a Jiggly Pets Noodle Pink Pup? The said Pup is predicted to be this year’s top toy. It walks, barks, and wags its tail whilst playing a tune, which at £12 will be music to every parent’s ears. Last year’s top toy, Barbie Day to Night Dreamhouse weighed in at nearly £200 eclipsing this year’s supermarket hopeful, Hot Wheels Garage Exclusive – includes twenty cars – at £124.99 Every parent wants their child to have the best possible Christmas. Many will have poured hours into overtime at work to help try and balance the books so that they are able to make this Christmas extra special. The cost of giving can be a high price to pay though many will agree it is all worth it to bring a smile to a much-loved child’s face. Yet Christmas toys come with a little caveat. My father once bought me a Hornby train set. He was extremely excited about it and couldn’t wait to get it all set up. To be honest, I wasn’t that bothered. I much preferred the matchbox cars, which delighted me all the way through my childhood. It just goes to show that children have the right to choose, and it might just be that the most expensive gift this year doesn’t quite make it to the top of the list when it comes to personal preference in your household. Take comfort in the knowledge that a child’s right to choose is a key step on the way to developing confidence and independence. There’s always next year for you to get it right! The exorbitant cost of children’s toys contrasts with the simpler things that make for a special Christmas. As Mole says, “love brings you home.” A young couple with not very much to their name, manage to create a safe warm place for their newborn baby. This is the start and the heart of the Christmas story. Creating a loving home which invites friends and family to come together brings cheer to the soul. A simple gift given with love is priceless and one to be treasured. Opportunities to share with others this festive season are to be made the most of – love in a home cannot be measured by any retail price index. And for that, we must all be grateful. Happy Christmas. God Bless Mark
