Forgiving those who have hurt us is as vitally important for each of us as it is for the person who is forgivenIf we are unforgiving and hold grudges we will damage our health, physically, mentally and spiritually.Anger and hate directed towards those who have hurt us won’t change them. They may not even be aware of our negative feelings. Lack of forgiveness will poison us.Jesus, in the Lord’s Prayer asks us to pray, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” We forgive because we want to be forgivenWhat is forgiveness and why is it so important? Does it mean letting people off when they have committed atrocious crimes?Letting people carry on sinning is not the loving thing to do. We need to keep people safe and protect them from evil. We are accountable to God, to each other and to our community for the things we do wrong. It is right that perpetrator’s of evil undergo the just sanctions of our legal system. Jesus makes this absolutely clear in this passage when the unforgiving slave is thrown into torment.When Peter asked how many times he should forgive someone from church who had sinned against him and suggested seven times, he thought he was being generous. The Rabbis limited it to three times.Forgiveness is tough. When we are hurt repeatedly, we want those who have let us down to know how it feels. We are often filled with negativity, anger, hate and shame. Our hearts cry out for justice. Those abused or bullied within a church service which is supposed to keep them safe and cover them with love feel particularly let down.Their faith in God as well as their faith in humanity is challenged.Jesus, however doesn’t agree with Peter and the Jewish Rabbis that there is a limit to forgiveness. He tells Peter we must forgive seventy times seven times.Sometimes, particular hurts and sins keep flashing back into our consciousness, warping the way we see the world and causing us to feel the hurt all over again.If we have suffered major physical, sexual or emotional abuse, or have been betrayed through divorce or by workmates, the changes in our circumstances can last a lifetime.We have to find a way of living with the injustice. We may need to keep forgiving the same sin time and time again throughout our lives. Forgiveness is intentional. When we are consumed by hate and anger, we need to remind ourselves that God loves both us and the offender, let go of what is hurting us and hold onto his love. We need to redirect our thinking and look forward in hope and trust. We voluntarily, with God’s help change our feelings and attitude towards the offender. Sometimes it is in the best interests of both the offender and victim to never see each other again. Whether reconciliation is possible or not, forgiveness implies replacing the negative emotions with positive attitudes and an increased ability to wish the offender well. Forgiveness is different from condoning excusing, forgetting, pardoning and restoration of a relationship. As human beings we are more than the sins we commit and our lives should not be determined by the offences committed against us. They are only part of our stories. This is revealed in the story of Joseph. Jealous of their brother for being their father’s favourite, Josephs’ brothers plotted to kill him. They threw him down a well and when slave traders passed by sold him. They deceived their father, telling him Joseph had been killed by wild animals and kept the guilty secret for years until hunger forced them to go to Egypt for food.They deserved to be put on trial and condemned. Joseph suffered much but had risen up the ranks of slaves until he was second only to the Pharaoh himself. He had shown himself to be truthful, conscientious and faithful to the God of Israel. When his brothers came to Egypt for food he recognised them. Instead of punishing them, he fed them.Fearing that once their father had died, Joseph might take his revenge, they approached him and told him that before he died his father had asked them to ask him for forgiveness. They named what they did as a crime. They had wronged Joseph.Joseph forgave them from his heart. He wept and his brothers also wept. They had lost so much through what had happened.Josephs’ brothers knelt before him ready to be slaves but Joseph raised them up. He recognised that he was in the place of God, being what God wanted him to be, ready to do what God wanted him to do. “Though you intended to harm me” he said, “God intended it for good.”God’s grace and forgiveness is dependent upon us having soft, forgiving hearts. Jesus says we must forgive from our hearts.Forgiving is the godly thing to do. We are called to be tender hearted and kind because God in Christ forgave us. Jesus was even able to have empathy for those who had crucified him. “Forgive them, he said, for they do not know what they are doing.”Many are unaware of the consequences of offences they commit. When Jesus was saying we must forgive seventy times seven times, he was saying forgiveness is the perfect, complete thing to do in the light of eternity because the number seven signified perfection, completeness and rest.Jesus was also reversing the vengeance, hate and corruption that has taken place throughout history since Cain murdered his brother. God pronounced seven fold vengeance on whoever killed Cain, mercifully preserving his life despite what he had done. Lamech pronounced vengeance and hate seventy-seven-fold for anyone who might kill Lamech. Only God’s forgiveness can save humankind. The only way people are going to see God’s love is through us.In certain contexts, forgiveness is a legal term for absolving or giving up all claims on account of debt, loan, obligation, or other claims.Much harm is done through structural and institutional oppression.Many countries and individuals are in debt as a result.In the story of the King who forgives, Jesus speaks into our need to have compassion on those who cannot pay. The slave brought to the King owed ten thousand talents equivalent to zillions in today’s money. However patient the King was, the slave would never be able to pay it off. It was the equivalent of a working man’s wage for two hundred thousand years.The King doesn’t give the slave a little more time as he asks. He forgives him. “The lord of that servant, being moved with compassion released him, and forgave him the debt” How free he must have felt.Sadly, the forgiven slave went out and grabbed by the throat, someone who owed him the equivalent of a hundred working days and demanded payment. With patience, the person could pay. The forgiven slave was not willing to wait and had him cast into prison. The friends of the imprisoned servant were sorrowful and told the King who had the forgiven slave imprisoned until he could repay.Since that was never going to happen, he would be tortured for the rest of his life.The slave chose to live by the worldly values of exploitation and domination even though he had been shown mercy.We are called to live by the loving, forgiving values of God’s Kingdom. Most of those countries and individuals in debt will never be able to repay what they owe.Poverty stricken countries which have had their debts cancelled are still trapped in an unfair economic system which means they will continue to get into further debt.We need to live differently. Living by kingdom values of forgiveness, compassion, mercy and justice we bring life and peace to others and to ourselves. Those who fail to forgive are tormented.We all owe a debt we cannot pay. Jesus paid in full on the cross when he forgave us our sins and set us free. He calls us now freely forgive and set others free.
We are shocked when we hear of bullying, spiritual, physical, sexual or emotional abuse that has taken place in the church and the debilitating effect it has had on those made to feel helpless. Church communities should reflect the healing love of Christ and be safe places where all are listened to. We live in a time when survivors are listened to and perpetrators, if they are still alive, are held to account.Those who haven’t been guilty of abuse are also being held to account for protecting them. Former Archbishop, George Carey has had his license withdrawn because he had been told about abuse perpetrated by Peter Ball and did nothing. Horrendous abuse has taken place in the past. We all need to be vigilant, challenge and report anything we see amiss. The PCC and anyone else in a position of trust has to undergo safeguarding training so we know what we need to do. Those in positions of trust need to be checked out by the police.I have never had a safeguarding situation reported to me. I have, however, seen individuals humiliated publically by those in authority; a friend excommunicated in a breaking of bread service because she had disagreed with the pastor even though she was publicly asking for forgiveness. None of us spoke up for her because we were confused. None of us should have taken Holy Communion, yet we carried on as if nothing had happened.Another friend was refused Communion by her husband, the vicar because he wanted to divorce her. He treated her as the wrong doer yet he was having an affair.I have watched friends humiliated and shouted at in church council meetings and know some of you have too.These incidents have left all present confused and traumatised. Church members have left.The readings today emphasise the importance of righteousness, of having a right relationship with God and our neighbours. When there is sin in our lives, our church, community and nation, we need to do something about it. We cannot pretend all is well. When relationships are broken, we need to put things right to the best of our ability. “We are to owe no one anything,” Romans says, “except to love.” When there is love, and we agree, Jesus says God is present working within and among us. Love overrules. Romans says “Love does no wrong to a neighbour; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.”Matthew’s system by for sorting out our offences tells us to firstly meet privately with the person who has wronged us. If the situation is not resolved, we are to take two or three witnesses with us and if there is still no resolution, we bring the problem to the entire church community.Today this process presents us with lots of difficulties. It doesn’t sound like Jesus but more like an ecclesiastical committee in a time when the church didn’t exist. Secondly, it empowers the already powerful enabling leaders to throw out those they consider offensive. The passage says, “If the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”Jesus came to heal and save tax collectors and sinners. He befriended and included them. He sided with the poor and weak reserving most venom for the powerful religious elite. In verses which follow, Jesus teaches we need to forgive someone who has offended against us seventy times seven times. Jesus’ love, patience and forgiveness has no limit and neither should ours, yet at the end of a process of humiliation, the person deemed offensive is thrown out of the church, abandoned, put beyond the security, prayers and teaching of the church. They are shunned, not forgiven. The passage appears to give the Christian church the same power to forgive that belongs to God. “Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” These verses have terrorised those persecuted by the Church, those deemed as heretics and those believed to be witches, burnt at the stake. Sin also resides with those in power. When we challenge others, we need to be aware of sin in our own lives. Only those without sin can cast the first stone.Church congregations nearly always side with their vicar because prolonged conflict damages the reputation of the church.Church discipline should never be a thing of rules and regulation but of love and forgiveness.Many denominations and public disunity shows we have not disagreed well. When we divide and stop listening we become entrenched in opinions which may be half truths or entirely wrongWe need one another. Disunity brings disgrace to the Church and the body of Christ becomes broken and ineffective.That’s why the Archbishop of Canterbury introduced the indaba process so that those who disagreed on same sex marriage listened to one another in love and found a way of staying in the same church together. How do we challenge sin in love without hurting others? When we are offended by another Christian we are not to punch them, slander them, retaliate, go to the law courts or the papers. We are not to shun them. Many Christians have been hurt by that kind of rejection. Far from stopping a person from doing wrong, it drives them in the opposite direction and pushes them to join with others who agree with them.We are not to write a letter of complaint. A letter may be misread or misunderstood and convey a tone that was never meant. We are not to gossip. We first of all are to go personally and tell that person alone so we don’t humiliate them in public.They may not have known they hurt us and had offended God.Instead of brooding and getting angry we are to voice our complaint to the person least likely to agree with us making ourselves as vulnerable as they are.This makes us responsible to listen to each other and think and pray about what has happened.It gives time for repentance and reconciliation, an opportunity to understand a brother or sister more deeply, strengthen the relationship and make a friend. If there is no admission of wrong, there is an opportunity to show love and disagree respectfully.If we are not listened to, we are to take two or three others with us. The point of taking witnesses would be to provide evidence so a charge could be made. Power is weighted on the side of the complainant as the witnesses are likely to be his allies. This is manipulative and intimidating. The offender would want to avoid going on trial before the church. The company of tax collectors and sinners would be preferable.Jesus tells us to pray for those who despitefully use us. This is the loving thing to do before approaching anyone we are upset with.He promises where two or three are gathered in his name, (in his character), that he is there among them. When we gather in Jesus’ name we gather in love. Jesus listens, he loves and he answers our prayer.We are called to righteousness, repentance and right relationships.God loves those who hurt us. We treat others the way we would like to be treated. When following any legal or scriptural process we do not want to cause further damage. “Love does no wrong to a neighbour; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.”The church’s safeguarding procedures today exist to protect the weak and make sure they are listened to. The Diocesan Safeguarding Officer and police examine available evidence and decide what happens next. The covering up of abuse damages the weak. Allowing an abuser to reoffend is unloving.We reflect God’s love for us by loving each other. In our community may all be valued, listened to, treated with respect and held accountable.
I don’t like to be made to feel shame at being British. We are not used to grovelling and apologising for past history. We have grown up being proud of what our country has achieved abroad. We learnt of pioneers and missionaries who brought hospitals and schools to poverty stricken countries. We thought of ourselves as civilised and caring. Most of us enjoyed singing “Rule Brittania” and “Land of Hope and Glory” on the last day of the proms, not thinking of how the language of Empire is used in those songs to evoke national pride in a past in which Britain ruled much of the world. Little thought has been given to how descendents of those subjugated might feel.Over the last few months we have been given a different view of history; one in which white supremacists colonised countries which did not belong to them and took away precious resources and slaves.According to the descendents of these slaves, many of whom are now living in the UK, our wealth was built at their expense and they want compensation.They continue to see themselves as victims. Black men are far more likely to be stopped and searched than white men by a predominantly white police force. They are more likely to be tasered, and die in police custody and suffer prejudice in other ways. We have seen thousands take to the streets as a result of “The Black Lives Matter” movement, in the wake of the needless, cruel killing of George Floyd by a policeman in America and police violence has continued, the latest casualty being Jacob Blake, shot seven times in the back in front of his children.Wisconsin lookslike a war zone with protestors killed and cars and shops burnt and destroyed. Jacob Blake’s mother said he would not be pleased.In this country, our police force looked terrified as they faced the wrath of protestors. Statues of slave traders have been pulled down and Sir Winston Churchill’s statue covered with graffiti labelling him a racist. Former heroes have been pulled from pedestals. The Church of England has not escaped criticism. It is seen as the church of colonialism, an exporter of British culture and religion. The Church in this country is rightfully criticised for her prejudice and rejection of people of colour who came to serve. Our church is often seen as condescending, pompous, controlling, rich, and belonging to a bygone age. Whereas the Church of England was once respected as part of the establishment, it is now mocked and attacked.As the British Empire and American white supremacy ends we face unrest and an uncertain economic future. There is a great deal of fear around and it is easy to act in an unthinking way and retaliate. When Peter confessed Jesus was the Messiah, (anointed one), the Son of the Living God, envisaged a world empire. Jesus was the prophet, priest and King of David’s line all Israel were waiting for.Peter believed God would intervene in history through Jesus. The shackles of Roman domination would be thrown off. The nations would ally together against this champion of God and be defeated and Israel would take its place as the special, chosen people of God. Jerusalem would be purified or a new one would come down from heaven and the Jews would be gathered from all over the world. The peoples of the world would be subdued or destroyed and a period of peace would follow.This Messiah would be vengeful, violent, destructive and nationalistic.Peter rightly recognised Jesus as the Messiah. He, not surprisingly, had the wrong idea of what that Messiah would be like. Instead of forming an army to march against Rome, Jesus explained he was going to undergo great suffering. He was going to be rejected by the chief priests and scribes and be killed and after three days rise again. Peter could not accept a suffering Messiah. Jesus had been speaking openly so Peter took Jesus aside to rebuke him and got a stern response, “Get behind me Satan.”Jesus didn’t want to suffer pain and death any more than we do. Suffering love was the only way Jesus could win the world back to God, fully identify with us and obey the will of his heavenly Father. Jesus needed to avoid the temptation of doing what he wanted instead of what God wanted. Peter, who wanted to save the life of his friend, must have felt confused and hurt. When Jesus called the crowd and his disciples together his teaching was designed to separate those who would follow him to the end of their lives from those who were part of the crowd because they wanted something from him.Some followed him for political reasons, wanting to be on the right side when the new government came into being. Others needed healing. Some wanted the power Jesus had and others who wanted to get rich by following the one who multiplied food.Some still follow Jesus for those reasons. Sometimes Jesus answers their prayers.From this time forward Jesus journeys towards his death. What had been good news now appears to be bad news for the disciples. If Jesus was going to Jerusalem to die, they would be at risk of dying with him. Jesus made this clear in his next words, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” They had seen the hideous crosses that surrounded Jerusalem with those nailed to them dying hideous, painful deathsThey had watched those about to be killed carry their crosses to the place of executionThe cross was shameful and Jesus was telling them that they had to prepare to die the same way if they followed him.Instead of all the lovely things they wanted from life and Jesus, they were to deny themselves. It is to the credit of eleven of the disciples that they only ran away when things got bloody and they didn’t know how to help Jesus any longer. “Those who want to save their life,” Jesus said, “will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life?” If we want to live life to the full, Jesus is saying, we need to risk and spend our lives in serving others. We cannot keep or protect our lives. Jim Elliott, before being martyred by the Auca Indians said, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.”Our passage ends on a triumphant note. Jesus will suffer but he will rise from the dead three days later and heaven and glory awaits him as it will us if we are not ashamed and follow him. The Son of Man will come for each one of us with his holy angels. The way of suffering love winsIf Jesus wasn’t God, then to say he was coming with his holy angels would either be a delusion, or madnessIf he wasn’t God, the resurrection would be impossibility. Because Jesus is God, we have to make a decision whether to follow him, putting his will before ours and making him King of our lives. Jesus walked the way of suffering love so we could be forgiven and have a relationship with him. He overcame evil with good. The shame of the cross comes before the crown. Jesus the suffering servant will one day reign, conquering sin. Today he asks us to follow him, by taking up our cross. Only humble love overcomes evil.
I don’t like to be made to feel shame at being British. We are not used to grovelling and apologising for past history. We have grown up being proud of what our country has achieved abroad. We learnt of pioneers and missionaries who brought hospitals and schools to poverty stricken countries. We thought of ourselves as civilised and caring. Most of us enjoyed singing “Rule Brittania” and “Land of Hope and Glory” on the last day of the proms, not thinking of how the language of Empire is used in those songs to evoke national pride in a past in which Britain ruled much of the world. Little thought has been given to how descendents of those subjugated might feel.Over the last few months we have been given a different view of history; one in which white supremacists colonised countries which did not belong to them and took away precious resources and slaves.According to the descendents of these slaves, many of whom are now living in the UK, our wealth was built at their expense and they want compensation.They continue to see themselves as victims. Black men are far more likely to be stopped and searched than white men by a predominantly white police force. They are more likely to be tasered, and die in police custody and suffer prejudice in other ways. We have seen thousands take to the streets as a result of “The Black Lives Matter” movement, in the wake of the needless, cruel killing of George Floyd by a policeman in America and police violence has continued, the latest casualty being Jacob Blake, shot seven times in the back in front of his children.Wisconsin lookslike a war zone with protestors killed and cars and shops burnt and destroyed. Jacob Blake’s mother said he would not be pleased.In this country, our police force looked terrified as they faced the wrath of protestors. Statues of slave traders have been pulled down and Sir Winston Churchill’s statue covered with graffiti labelling him a racist. Former heroes have been pulled from pedestals. The Church of England has not escaped criticism. It is seen as the church of colonialism, an exporter of British culture and religion. The Church in this country is rightfully criticised for her prejudice and rejection of people of colour who came to serve. Our church is often seen as condescending, pompous, controlling, rich, and belonging to a bygone age. Whereas the Church of England was once respected as part of the establishment, it is now mocked and attacked.As the British Empire and American white supremacy ends we face unrest and an uncertain economic future. There is a great deal of fear around and it is easy to act in an unthinking way and retaliate. When Peter confessed Jesus was the Messiah, (anointed one), the Son of the Living God, envisaged a world empire. Jesus was the prophet, priest and King of David’s line all Israel were waiting for.Peter believed God would intervene in history through Jesus. The shackles of Roman domination would be thrown off. The nations would ally together against this champion of God and be defeated and Israel would take its place as the special, chosen people of God. Jerusalem would be purified or a new one would come down from heaven and the Jews would be gathered from all over the world. The peoples of the world would be subdued or destroyed and a period of peace would follow.This Messiah would be vengeful, violent, destructive and nationalistic.Peter rightly recognised Jesus as the Messiah. He, not surprisingly, had the wrong idea of what that Messiah would be like. Instead of forming an army to march against Rome, Jesus explained he was going to undergo great suffering. He was going to be rejected by the chief priests and scribes and be killed and after three days rise again. Peter could not accept a suffering Messiah. Jesus had been speaking openly so Peter took Jesus aside to rebuke him and got a stern response, “Get behind me Satan.”Jesus didn’t want to suffer pain and death any more than we do. Suffering love was the only way Jesus could win the world back to God, fully identify with us and obey the will of his heavenly Father. Jesus needed to avoid the temptation of doing what he wanted instead of what God wanted. Peter, who wanted to save the life of his friend, must have felt confused and hurt. When Jesus called the crowd and his disciples together his teaching was designed to separate those who would follow him to the end of their lives from those who were part of the crowd because they wanted something from him.Some followed him for political reasons, wanting to be on the right side when the new government came into being. Others needed healing. Some wanted the power Jesus had and others who wanted to get rich by following the one who multiplied food.Some still follow Jesus for those reasons. Sometimes Jesus answers their prayers.From this time forward Jesus journeys towards his death. What had been good news now appears to be bad news for the disciples. If Jesus was going to Jerusalem to die, they would be at risk of dying with him. Jesus made this clear in his next words, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” They had seen the hideous crosses that surrounded Jerusalem with those nailed to them dying hideous, painful deathsThey had watched those about to be killed carry their crosses to the place of executionThe cross was shameful and Jesus was telling them that they had to prepare to die the same way if they followed him.Instead of all the lovely things they wanted from life and Jesus, they were to deny themselves. It is to the credit of eleven of the disciples that they only ran away when things got bloody and they didn’t know how to help Jesus any longer. “Those who want to save their life,” Jesus said, “will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life?” If we want to live life to the full, Jesus is saying, we need to risk and spend our lives in serving others. We cannot keep or protect our lives. Jim Elliott, before being martyred by the Auca Indians said, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.”Our passage ends on a triumphant note. Jesus will suffer but he will rise from the dead three days later and heaven and glory awaits him as it will us if we are not ashamed and follow him. The Son of Man will come for each one of us with his holy angels. The way of suffering love winsIf Jesus wasn’t God, then to say he was coming with his holy angels would either be a delusion, or madnessIf he wasn’t God, the resurrection would be impossibility. Because Jesus is God, we have to make a decision whether to follow him, putting his will before ours and making him King of our lives. Jesus walked the way of suffering love so we could be forgiven and have a relationship with him. He overcame evil with good. The shame of the cross comes before the crown. Jesus the suffering servant will one day reign, conquering sin. Today he asks us to follow him, by taking up our cross. Only humble love overcomes evil.
