New starts

1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. (Psalm 51)

Many people will now have discovered that their new year’s resolutions have started to falter. All the best intentions can fail after a little time and ordinary life. We start out so well, but then time and circumstances take their toll, and we lose sight of what we had hoped for.

In the Church year, at the beginning of February we change over from finishing the Christmas season into starting to prepare for Easter. The idea is that we move from one celebration to another through seasons which prepare us appropriately. Lent will start, there will be Lent Lunches in various parishes, and this year there will not be a Lent course as such. The Alton Alpha course members are moving into a regular small group so they can continue to grow in their fellowship and faith. But there will now be an Alpha course starting at Mayfield on 3rd March, weekly on Monday evenings to which people from all the parishes are invited. Do come and grow in your understanding of your faith.

There are so many things unstated in our lives that it is good to sometimes have a chance to think about how things are going and how we might improve. Our society now considers many things acceptable which used to cause terrible guilt (divorce is one); and conversely, we now look down on things which used to be perfectly acceptable (smoking is one).

There is an intellectual idea that if we can remove the restrictive ideas of the past, then we shall no longer feel guilt. Guilt is an internal feeling imposed on ourselves by memories of the past. Shame is when that guilt is imposed from other people. The Church looking down on divorced people where it wanted to promote marriage caused huge guilt and shame in those who were divorced. In society, those who were divorced were excluded from certain social events. Nowadays we feel differently – many people have this trauma in their lives and there should be no need to keep heaping guilt upon them. (I hope any divorced readers are not finding their emotions churned up as you read).

Our society is trying to remove guilt and shame for many things of the past, by saying all these things are acceptable. However, individuals still feel that guilt, and our faith shows us how to deal with it. Now so many things are acceptable you would think guilt would be decreasing, but studies show that the mental health of our nation is deteriorating, the guilt is not going away – it seems to be getting worse.

Those with a Christian faith need to be reminded again and again that we have a Saviour. We celebrated His arrival at Christmas, and we celebrate His victory over sin and guilt at Easter. What we need to do is accept what is our part in the failures of the past, and then bring them to our Saviour and ask for his forgiveness and mercy. Then we need to receive that forgiveness and start to move into a newly forgiven part of our lives.

I have found the prayer of “Celebrate recovery” really helpful in my life, and especially the serenity prayer which guides us to seek God’s help, and I commend it to you.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Brian Leathers (January 2025)