A response to the Bishops’ Statement on Civil Partnerships & MarriageOne of the constant themes in life is the tension between continuity and change. My children have now grown up and I have to say that most of the stuff they had when they were children has long since been chucked out or handed on to someone else - to make good use of whatever it was we wanted to lose. But occasionally at the back of a cupboard, a long-forgotten toy tumbles out, or a box in the loft reveals an old school jumper or a book on the bookcase pops out and brings on a flood of memories. This usually results in a period of agony - your head tells you it’s time to let go – your heart says I can’t quite let go of this yet. There’s a real tension between holding on and letting go. And often the pressure to let go is simply because we need the space for more stuff that is being accumulated. Each new stage of life requires its share of space. My daughter comes home from London to visit her parents. She sleeps in what is still very much her bedroom. The bottom of her wardrobe is filled up with a very beautiful, very large, dolls house. I know that the dolls house is going to sit in that wardrobe for years to come. That dolls house represents a sacred link with childhood which no one of us can quite face breaking just yet. In the meantime, it takes up a lot of space… I find myself having to live with the strain between holding on and letting go…Matthew’s gospel, with its focus on the Jewish community and it’s cherishing of the tradition of the law, puts into the mouth of Jesus the following words, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfil.” (Matt 5:17) Matthew goes out of his way to articulate the tension between continuity and change. What Jesus is saying is that the moral code given by God to his people as a means of grace has become corrupted. Laws that were intended to be followed as an expression of love have collapsed into being interpreted in a very black and white kind of way. Laws which were there to help life to flourish have become life itself. Jesus reinterprets the law by not abandoning, for example, the ten commandments etc, they still have their place, but love needs to be brought back into the picture. The law is still present and offers continuity but the reinterpretation of the law – in the form of the Beatitudes, for example, brings about the necessary change. Judgements must still be made, as taught in the Old Testament, but must now be guided by compassion and mercy as made clear in the teachings of Jesus in the New Testament. Old and New are bound together in continuity and change. Matthew is very clear however that continuity needs change, things cannot simply continue as they are – this would be to fall short of the purposes of God. Similarly, change cannot just be for change’s sake, change must connect with what has been if a change is to be meaningful. All of this, of course, is embodied in the salvation work of Christ himself.A few weeks ago, the Church of England House of Bishops issued a statement in response to the change in the law allowing for opposite-sex couples to form a Civil Partnership. The change in the law was brought about in response to the need for equality from a human rights perspective for those couples who felt uncomfortable, for whatever reason, with the idea of getting married. The change has brought into practice the opportunity for opposite-sex couples who want to commit themselves, in law, to each other in the same way that the law has, for several years now, allowed for same-sex couples, to do so. Opposite sex couples and same-sex couples can now both choose what feels right for them, marriage or civil partnership. It is now possible for both models of a committed relationship to be given status and protection under the law.To cut to the chase, the House of Bishops Statement can be summed up in a line from the document that reads, “Sexual relationships outside heterosexual marriage are regarded as falling short of God’s purposes for human beings…” In other words, those opposite-sex couples transacting a civil partnership are expected, in accordance with this statement to remain celibate, as are all other relationships outside of the opposite sex married state.Well, the document has created a furore, both within the church and the country at large, not least because the Church of England is currently engaged in a significant study of sexuality and what our understanding of sexuality and faithful relationships mean for the life of individuals and human flourishing in the modern age. This study has yet to report its findings, resulting in many criticising the Bishops’ Statement for being poorly timed. Surely it would have been better to allow the study on sexuality to be completed and thought about before releasing the current statement. Secondly, though styled as a ‘pastoral statement’, many have concluded that there is very little that is pastoral about this document. It feels much more like a doctrinal paper than anything else. Several Bishops have now broken ranks with the House of Bishops and asked why on earth this paper was published when it was. Further, both the Archbishop of Canterbury and of York have both apologised in the media for its lack of pastoral content. Over 800 clergy in the Church, myself included, have now signed a letter to the Archbishop of Canterbury expressing deep reservations about the wording of this document.The tensions between continuity and change are made no more manifest than in the ongoing debate on human sexuality, with which some in the Church seem obsessed. The Bishops’ Statement is legalistic, affirming a black and white world when we all know that that bears little resemblance to the very complex and often quite painful world that many of our young people must negotiate as they explore and affirm their own identity. The current stance of the Church can only lead to more mental anguish and psychological suffering for those struggling with their own sense of self. This document does nothing pastoral for those who are homosexual or heterosexual who want to live in a loving faithful monogamous relationship outside of the traditional definition of marriage. The message is simply ‘Continuity. No change.’What does this all mean for us? Clearly it means that this debate shows no sign of ending. So, the tensions within the Church between ‘continuity and change’ continue; I have to say in a pastorally unhelpful kind of way. The Archbishop’s apology was about recognising the lack of love within this document. And parish priests, but not just parish priests, for all of us within the Church are caught up in this debate, whether we like it or not, will be left to muddle through the pastoral implications as best they can.What do you say to someone who asks the question, “Can I have sex with my partner, whom I love deeply, romantically, and to whom I am committed in our civil partnership? Is there a place for this area of my life in your Church?” Are we left only with the answer, in all honesty, that, ‘That is a very good question’ – followed by silence? At some point, the question of the dolls’ house in my daughter’s wardrobe will have to be faced. ‘Continuity and change’ will need to engage with each other. The reality of life will simply dictate this fact. The dolls’ house cannot stay in the wardrobe forever.The Bishops’ loveless Statement offers a very simple response to a very complex situation. And it is why most people will quietly ignore it. Revd Mark BaileyYou can read the full text of the Bishops’ Statement at the following link:https://anglican.ink/2020/01/22/coe-house-of-bishops-pastoral-statement-on-civil-partnerships/
In the beginning was the word…There is a time for all of us before words… The beginnings of our common journey start’s in the womb, a warm, dark place, and though we may hear voices, the most frequent of course, being the voice of our mother, yet in this beginning, there are no words of our own. Words then are not primary in our development – they only come later. In the dark of the womb, we have no words of our own. It is only once we have emerged into the light of day that sounds, and words are formed. The first screams mean that we discover the power of the voice and to give voice means that we have begun the journey of discovery of the world of words. Once discovered it is difficult to imagine what it might be like not to be able to use words. It is very difficult to have a voice if you do not use words.A child who discovers words discovers language and language of words gives a quite sophisticated way with which to articulate feelings and, hence meaning. Meaning is dependent upon feelings and feelings are dependent upon words. Feelings need words, for without words feelings are unable to inform the deepest part of ourselves. I cannot fully know who I am if I cannot put words to my feelings. If I cannot put words to my feelings, then my feelings must remain locked up – as if a part of me has been put back into darkness – without words my feelings are diminished, and I can only exist in a frustrated state. Reduced once again to primitive infantile screams. Trauma comes in all shapes and sizes. Trauma can affect anyone and everyone – no one is immune from the possibility of suffering the effects of trauma. I have spent much of my ministry working with people who have suffered trauma of one kind or another. I will give but one example. Some of the most psychologically damaging trauma can occur during a complicated birth. The effects of a traumatised birth impact upon both mother and baby – leaving both damaged - unable to find the words with which to articulate the pain there is often a collapse into a numbed-out state, which can remain compartmentalised deep within the human psyche for years – even a lifetime. Part of a life with no words. Part of a life with no feelings. Half a life with no meaning. Words mean life. Words bring to life what is hidden and give value to that life, which, without words, would be lost and abandoned. Words mean life and bring life that is hidden in darkness into the light of day. “Now you and I both know how I feel, for I have spoken. Now we can engage with relationship and contemplate together the next step.” Without words, our capacity for relationship can only stumble – at best a guessing game. With words, we can know ourselves and we can know each other. To misquote the famous words of the C17th French philosopher Rene Descartes, “I speak therefore I am.”In the dark of midnight, we contemplate the beginning of life given to us by God himself. “In the beginning was the word.” We re-evaluate the meaning of life. We recognise in the Christ Child the frailty of life and so the need for care – care that those words first given by God, in the beginning, are treated with the sacredness that they deserve. For all words express life – and should be respected and heard – however spoken. God speaks – and His words give life – “and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness does not overcome it.”As you spend time with your family this Christmastide – listen carefully. Hear what is being said. Take no words for granted. Think and feel carefully and then articulate in words the meaning that this God-given life means to you.In doing so, you will bring life to others.“The word was God and the word was with God.” May it be your gift this Christmastide.Amen.Revd Mark Bailey
The Revd Writes…One Christmas my father bought me a train set. It was all very splendid, a Hornby – and my father was very excited about it. He could hardly wait to help me unwrap it! I must have been no more than four years old and didn’t really appreciate the beauty of such intricate miniature engineering. Whilst my father ventured off to the other side of the room to carefully lay out the track, I vroom, vroomed the bright new engine across the carpet. Fibres from the carpet clogged the engine mechanism causing irreparable damage. The engine never even made it onto the track. My father was bitterly disappointed. I think it spoilt his Christmas. But it didn’t spoil mine. I was completely enthralled by my new matchbox series Batmobile with lifelike Batman and Robin figures. I never did really get into trains.Many hours will be spent in the run-up to Christmas by thoughtful parents agonising over what presents to buy for children. Christmas is an opportunity to broaden the horizon, help a child begin to learn to tell the time by buying them their first watch or maybe it’s time to learn to ride a bike – difficult to wrap! A jigsaw puzzle of a world map engaged me in a whole new subject, geography – but trains were never going to be my thing. Years later my father would still lament, “I tried!” Christmas presents are often a risk. Even if someone has told you what they want, is it really what they wanted? The whole exercise is fraught with the potential for disappointment.Yet a child’s rejection of a particular gift might just be an important step towards autonomy and increasing maturity. “I don’t really like this. I don’t want to play with it.”, is an affirmation that I have an opinion and am learning to choose. Expressing the right to choose, and learning to live with the consequences, is an important step for a child to make even though it may leave the parent wondering why they went to all the trouble in the first place. Rejecting some toys might just be as important as accepting others. “I like this. It’s me! I don’t like that. It is not me!” Across the Churches of the Dever Valley this Christmastide there is a range of opportunities to come together to worship. Some will be drawn to the informal Christingle Service others will enjoy coming together to sing at Carol Services and yet others will prefer the quiet of a Midnight Service of Holy Communion. The Churches extend an open invitation to all to choose what feels right for them.So, thank you for the book but I’m probably never going to read it, but I do like chocolate…God Bless Mark
The meaning of the red poppy“In Flanders fields the poppies blowbetween the crosses row on rowthat marks our place; and in the skyscarce heard amid the guns below.”On the 22nd of April 1915, the Second Battle of Ypres began. It was an attempt by the German army to capture the strategic Belgium town and became notorious as the first battle of the First World War in which chemical gas was used as a weapon. The battle involved the French, British and battalions of the Canadian Expeditionary Force holding the line against a relentless German onslaught. On the 2nd May, Lieutenant Alexis Hemler of the First Canadian Field Artillery was killed by a six-inch-high explosive canon shell. He was buried by his good friend Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae. 16 Days later, on the 18th May, Gerald Howard Holbrooke, whose name we remember each year in Barton Stacey Church, and who was serving with the same Canadian Expeditionary Force near Ypres, was killed in action. Sitting in the back of an ambulance at an Advanced Dressing Station outside Ypres, McCrae reflected on the loss of the life of his friend, Alexis Hemler and having noticed the proliferation of the red poppies that quickly grew in the chalky soil of the dead soldiers graves, he scribbled down those words that have now become immortalised across the Commonwealth, “In Flanders Fields the poppies grow between the crosses row on row…” Whether Private Gerald Holbrooke ever met Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, we will never know but it is likely that he would have at least heard of McCrae as a senior serving officer. Holbrooke however, like Hemler, would never have the opportunity to read the lines of what is probably the most famous of the war poems.“We are the Dead. Short days agowe lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, loved and were loved, and now we lie in Flanders fields.”Inspired by McCrae’s poem, the American Professor Monica Michael resolved at the war’s conclusion in 1918 to always wear a red poppy to honour those who had lost their lives. She promoted the idea of doing the same amongst her friends and acquaintances by giving them silk poppies to wear. In 1921 the Royal British Legion was founded and its first President, Field Marshall Douglas Haig promoted Monica Michael’s red poppy and it was quickly adopted by the RBL both as a symbol of its work and also as a potential fundraiser.“Take up our quarrel with the foe:to you from failing hands we throw the torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who diewe shall not sleep, though poppies grow in Flanders fields.”Since the 1920s and into the post-Second World War years the poppy has come to symbolise not only a special place in the heart of our nation for the honouring of our war dead, it has also come to symbolise the covenant relationship between the civilian population and the military community. This covenant relationship is one which is modelled for us in our own understanding of the relationship between God and his people. A covenant relationship is one which is binding, a bit like a marriage in which vows are exchanged with the intention of a life-long commitment. And so, the poppy reflects a living relationship in which those of us who live, continue to honour the memory of those who sacrificed their freedom for our democracy. And whilst honouring the sacrifice of those who are no longer with us, we honour too those of our military community who have pledged themselves to stand in harm’s way, should the call be made, to protect us, men, women and children who make up our civilian population.Yet what we mean by ‘harm’s way’, and indeed what we mean by ‘warfare’ today is somewhat complicated. The trench warfare of Ypres reflected a way and means of fighting that was of its time. And though we may recognise something of this in the pulverizing of Syrian cities in our own day, our definition of warfare must now include acts of terrorism as we have experienced on our own streets in recent years, London Bridge and the Manchester Arena, and those who lost their lives there must now find a place amongst those who lost their lives at Ypres. The Royal British Legion has this year acknowledged that the affection and heartfelt sorrow that is carried in the wearing of the red poppy symbolises and must symbolise these innocent victims of the terrorist’s act of war too. So today we wear our poppies with pride. We honour specifically the memory of those from our own community who gave their lives in the service of their country in the First and Second World Wars and in wars fought ever since then. And we hold in our hearts and prayers those serving with our armed forces today, mindful of the covenant relationship that binds us together. And we include today in our prayers those families and friends who have lost loved ones in recent years due to acts of terrorism.“In Flanders fields the poppies blowbetween the crosses row on row…”On the 28th of January 1918, John McCrae died in a military hospital in Wimereux, not far from Boulogne in France, exhausted by the war, he contracted pneumonia and cerebral meningitis. The following year a book of his poems titled ‘In Flanders Fields’ was published. His life is commemorated in a museum dedicated to his life’s story in his hometown of Guelph near Ontario in Canada. As we remember those from our own community, so too we remember him.“…we lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, loved and were loved, and now we lie in Flanders fields.”Revd Mark BaileyRemembrance Sunday 2019
