A response to the Bishops’ Statement on Civil Partnerships & Marriage

One of the constant themes in life is the tension between continuity and change.

My children have now grown up and I have to say that most of the stuff they had when they were children has long since been chucked out or handed on to someone else - to make good use of whatever it was we wanted to lose. But occasionally at the back of a cupboard, a long-forgotten toy tumbles out, or a box in the loft reveals an old school jumper or a book on the bookcase pops out and brings on a flood of memories. This usually results in a period of agony - your head tells you it’s time to let go – your heart says I can’t quite let go of this yet. There’s a real tension between holding on and letting go. And often the pressure to let go is simply because we need the space for more stuff that is being accumulated. Each new stage of life requires its share of space. My daughter comes home from London to visit her parents. She sleeps in what is still very much her bedroom. The bottom of her wardrobe is filled up with a very beautiful, very large, dolls house. I know that the dolls house is going to sit in that wardrobe for years to come. That dolls house represents a sacred link with childhood which no one of us can quite face breaking just yet. In the meantime, it takes up a lot of space… I find myself having to live with the strain between holding on and letting go…

Matthew’s gospel, with its focus on the Jewish community and it’s cherishing of the tradition of the law, puts into the mouth of Jesus the following words, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfil.” (Matt 5:17) Matthew goes out of his way to articulate the tension between continuity and change. What Jesus is saying is that the moral code given by God to his people as a means of grace has become corrupted. Laws that were intended to be followed as an expression of love have collapsed into being interpreted in a very black and white kind of way. Laws which were there to help life to flourish have become life itself. Jesus reinterprets the law by not abandoning, for example, the ten commandments etc, they still have their place, but love needs to be brought back into the picture. The law is still present and offers continuity but the reinterpretation of the law – in the form of the Beatitudes, for example, brings about the necessary change. Judgements must still be made, as taught in the Old Testament, but must now be guided by compassion and mercy as made clear in the teachings of Jesus in the New Testament. Old and New are bound together in continuity and change. Matthew is very clear however that continuity needs change, things cannot simply continue as they are – this would be to fall short of the purposes of God. Similarly, change cannot just be for change’s sake, change must connect with what has been if a change is to be meaningful. All of this, of course, is embodied in the salvation work of Christ himself.

A few weeks ago, the Church of England House of Bishops issued a statement in response to the change in the law allowing for opposite-sex couples to form a Civil Partnership. The change in the law was brought about in response to the need for equality from a human rights perspective for those couples who felt uncomfortable, for whatever reason, with the idea of getting married. The change has brought into practice the opportunity for opposite-sex couples who want to commit themselves, in law, to each other in the same way that the law has, for several years now, allowed for same-sex couples, to do so. Opposite sex couples and same-sex couples can now both choose what feels right for them, marriage or civil partnership. It is now possible for both models of a committed relationship to be given status and protection under the law.

To cut to the chase, the House of Bishops Statement can be summed up in a line from the document that reads, “Sexual relationships outside heterosexual marriage are regarded as falling short of God’s purposes for human beings…” In other words, those opposite-sex couples transacting a civil partnership are expected, in accordance with this statement to remain celibate, as are all other relationships outside of the opposite sex married state.

Well, the document has created a furore, both within the church and the country at large, not least because the Church of England is currently engaged in a significant study of sexuality and what our understanding of sexuality and faithful relationships mean for the life of individuals and human flourishing in the modern age. This study has yet to report its findings, resulting in many criticising the Bishops’ Statement for being poorly timed. Surely it would have been better to allow the study on sexuality to be completed and thought about before releasing the current statement. Secondly, though styled as a ‘pastoral statement’, many have concluded that there is very little that is pastoral about this document. It feels much more like a doctrinal paper than anything else. Several Bishops have now broken ranks with the House of Bishops and asked why on earth this paper was published when it was. Further, both the Archbishop of Canterbury and of York have both apologised in the media for its lack of pastoral content. Over 800 clergy in the Church, myself included, have now signed a letter to the Archbishop of Canterbury expressing deep reservations about the wording of this document.

The tensions between continuity and change are made no more manifest than in the ongoing debate on human sexuality, with which some in the Church seem obsessed. The Bishops’ Statement is legalistic, affirming a black and white world when we all know that that bears little resemblance to the very complex and often quite painful world that many of our young people must negotiate as they explore and affirm their own identity. The current stance of the Church can only lead to more mental anguish and psychological suffering for those struggling with their own sense of self. This document does nothing pastoral for those who are homosexual or heterosexual who want to live in a loving faithful monogamous relationship outside of the traditional definition of marriage. The message is simply ‘Continuity. No change.’

What does this all mean for us? Clearly it means that this debate shows no sign of ending. So, the tensions within the Church between ‘continuity and change’ continue; I have to say in a pastorally unhelpful kind of way. The Archbishop’s apology was about recognising the lack of love within this document.

And parish priests, but not just parish priests, for all of us within the Church are caught up in this debate, whether we like it or not, will be left to muddle through the pastoral implications as best they can.

What do you say to someone who asks the question, “Can I have sex with my partner, whom I love deeply, romantically, and to whom I am committed in our civil partnership? Is there a place for this area of my life in your Church?” Are we left only with the answer, in all honesty, that, ‘That is a very good question’ – followed by silence?

At some point, the question of the dolls’ house in my daughter’s wardrobe will have to be faced. ‘Continuity and change’ will need to engage with each other. The reality of life will simply dictate this fact. The dolls’ house cannot stay in the wardrobe forever.

The Bishops’ loveless Statement offers a very simple response to a very complex situation. And it is why most people will quietly ignore it.

Revd Mark Bailey

You can read the full text of the Bishops’ Statement at the following link:

https://anglican.ink/2020/01/22/coe-house-of-bishops-pastoral-statement-on-civil-partnerships/