THINKING OF GETTING MARRIED HERE?
THINKING OF GETTING MARRIED?
Preliminary Advice for Anyone Asking to have a Marriage Service
at All Saints’ Parish Church, Darton
Congratulations! You are probably reading this leaflet because you have made the decision to get married.
A marriage service, wherever it is held, is always a public declaration of love and commitment to your partner. By getting married in church, you are showing that you want to make this public declaration before God. A Marriage service in church is always both a religious and a legal undertaking. The priest who will officiate at your marriage is also the Registrar, and it is important that certain legal requirements are met.
SOME FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Where can I get married?
Every British citizen is entitled to be married in the Church of England parish church where one or other of you lives, regardless of whether you are regular church-goers or not.
The Parish of Darton includes the communities of Darton, Kexburgh, Wolley Colliery and Barugh. At present, if you do not live within these communities, you may only be married at All Saints’ if you are a regular worshipper and on the Electoral Roll of church. In order to be included on the Electoral Roll, you must have been worshipping regularly at the church for at least six months.
From November 2008, the Law changes in certain respects. It allows us the flexibility to offer a Marriage service to those who have a genuine connection with the church and the parish, but who no longer live here. For example, if you were baptized (christened) at All Saints’, or you grew up in the parish and have now moved away to work or study, or your family have a strong connection with the church.
It is important to stress, however, that, even with the legal changes due to come into force in November 2008, we cannot simply offer a Marriage service to a couple who live outside the parish, and have no connection with the church (or the communities we serve, i.e. Darton, Kexburgh, Woolley Colliery and Barugh), simply because they consider All Saints’ to be an attractive venue.
If you live outside the parish of Darton, and have no connection with the church or the communities we serve, we are always glad to put you in touch with your local parish church, which should be your first ‘port of call’ when enquiring about Marriage.
How do I book the Church?
If you qualify to be married at All Saints’ – or you think you may qualify - you should come to church on any Tuesday evening between 7.30pm and 8.00pm. One of the clergy will be available to meet with you and discuss your preferred date(s). We always advise couples to ensure that the time and date of the venue for the reception have been confirmed before making a definite booking for the date and time of the Marriage service in church. We are always very happy to tell you, informally, what dates and time are available if this helps your planning.
What are the legal requirements?
You must have your banns read out in church on three consecutive Sundays during three months before the wedding. Banns are a public announcement of your intention to marry, and a chance for anyone to put forward a reason why the marriage may not lawfully take place. Banns need to be read in the parish where each of you lives, as well as at the church in which you are to be married. In some circumstances, there may be an alternative to Banns, but the priest who is to conduct your Marriage will advise you of this.
If you are under the age of eighteen, you will need your parents’ consent to marry.
How much will it cost?
The legal fees for a marriage cover the publication of the banns, certificate of banns (if necessary), the marriage service, and the certificate of marriage. These fees are fixed centrally by the Church of England and Parliament. The priest who officiates at your Marriage will provide details at your first meeting. The cost of a basic Marriage Service in 2008 is £415.00.
Can we choose what kind of Marriage service we have?
Getting married in church is never simply about ‘booking the venue’ to do your own thing. A Marriage service in church must be conducted according to the rites of the Church of England. There are currently two legally recognised forms of the Marriage service, and one of these must be used for your marriage to be recognised in law. There is, of course, considerable flexibility, not least in the choice of music and readings. However, it is not possible for a couple to write their own vows, for example; or to produce a ‘designer’ service.
If one of you belongs to another Christian denomination (e.g. Methodist or Roman Catholic), we are very happy to involve a minister of another denomination in leading parts of the service. You can choose to have a modern-language service, or one in more traditional language. There are usually readings (one should be from the Bible). There will also be some prayers, which you may help choose, or you may write some of your own.
If you have friends or family members you would like to involve in the service, for example by reading or playing a musical instrument, discuss this with the priest who will officiate at your Marriage service.
Can we take photographs or have a video?
Photographs are an integral part of any Marriage service, and we encourage you to have these taken before and after the service, and during the signing of the Registers. We ask your guests not to take photographs during the service. It can be distracting and intrusive, and can also undermine the sense that a Marriage service is a Christian act of worship.
You are welcome to have the service videoed. Legally, we have to make a charge for videoing the service because of the performing rights issues relating to the choir and organist.
What if one or both of us are divorced?
The Church of England teaches that marriage is for life. It also recognises that, sadly, some marriages do fail and, if this should happen, it seeks to be available to offer care and support for all involved. The Church accepts that, in certain circumstances, a divorced person may marry again in a church during the lifetime of a former spouse.
The clergy of this parish are willing to consider conducting such marriages in church. We will want to talk to you frankly about the past, your hopes for the future, and your understanding of marriage.
If it is not possible for your proposed marriage to take place in church, we are very happy to discuss alternatives with you, such as a Service of Prayer and Dedication following a civil ceremony.
What does the Church teach about Marriage?
Christians believe marriage is a gift from God. In the marriage ceremony, a couple make a public declaration of lifelong commitment to love each other, ‘for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, till death us do part’.
The Marriage service gives you a new legal status as husband and wife, and a new stability within which your relationship can flourish and grow.Christians believe that marriage offers the right place for the fulfilment of our sexuality, and that it proves a stable and secure environment for bringing up children.