Dear friends

On social media, we are bombarded by pictures of people being happy, celebrating, going on holidays, living their best life – whatever that expression means but for so many, this is not how life is. The outward appearance can often hide hidden grief and bereavements. Through life we experience many bereavements, (in the old definition meaning being deprived of..).it may be a failed relationship, the loss of a job, failing health or the fact that life has not turned out how we hoped it would. There may be explanations for these disappointments or events may seem random. We may blame ourselves or we may blame God.

It is fine to be cross with God. The Bible is peppered with people who shout out to him in pain, grief, doubt, betrayal, disappointment and despair.... or just shout at him. We won`t be the first, There are laments in the Bible where deep sorrow, pain and regret are demonstrated. We are allowed to wail

Last year I discovered a new author - Kate Bowler was a 37 year old theology professor with an amazing job, married to her high school sweetheart and besotted with her newborn son. Her life is blessed and then she is diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. In her memoir she reflects on what it means to die when society insists that everything happens for a reason. We have to explain things but sometimes we have no idea why things happen, why life can seem very random

Kate gives a list of things not to say when people are experiencing hard times “ Well, at least...”, “ In my long life I`ve learned....”, “It`s going to get better..” “Everything happens for a reason...” The hurt that can be caused by Job`s comforters

In the 16th Century a Roman Catholic Mystic San Juan de la Cruz, or Saint John of the Cross wrote a poem with the phrase “dark night of the soul” It will be unusual if we manage to live without one or more of these nights

CS Lewis went through many dark nights of the soul following the death of his wife Joy, when he felt that God had slammed a door in his face, bolted it and remained silent.

The fact that we question does not for a moment make our faith weak. Philip Yancey in his book “Disappointment with God” said that on Good Friday on the cross, God learned for himself what it meant to be God-forsaken”

God may seem absent but he is not. Often when he is seems silent, we hear him through the voices of others or through acts of kindness. He is closer to us than we can imagine but it requires faith to believe that and faith to trust

Kate Bowler gives advice as to how to help someone who is going through “ a dark night of the soul” – pray, offer a meal, a hug, allow them to talk without interrupting, be silent – or just show up.

If you ever need to talk, or have someone pray for or with you, or you just want to rant, we are always here.

Praying for you all this Lent

Christina